If you have been depressed for two years, you probably doubt whether you will ever get feeling better. Patience is difficult. Your friends tell you about CBT and prescription medications that are helping with their depression, but you are too aware that bipolar depression is more organic and resistant to CBT, and that you are not allowed certain anti-depressant dosages since you are bipolar.
It is important to not add to your deathlike burden by telling yourself things that make you feel guilty (and more depressed). Accept that you are unwell, and do what you need to patiently endure.
For me, when I wake up depressed, here is a routine that leads to a good moment. (I am able to get to this blog and type this because I am in a good moment.)
|Read Bible and drink coffee||Sets healthy context and wakes you up|
|Take prescription meds and vape cannabis||marijuana lifts my mood out of the dark cloud|
|Sit on couch with blankie and vape nicotine||nicotine is an important psychotropic (comparable to Ritalin) for people with schizophrenia and many people with Bipolar Disorder or PTSD|
After that routine, I am often ready to get a few chores done or some work online!